by Victoria Heinecke

There is no pain too great for God’s help.

You can listen to today’s devotion by clicking on this SoundCloud link.

I didn’t see it coming.

Life was chugging along, and it was good.

Then the news came. My heart felt like a piece of paper as it was slowly ripped in two, and then I felt it rip in two again.

My life changed in an instant, and at that moment it felt as if nothing would ever be the same.

“(Oh, God), I am like a man without strength,
set free among the dead,
like the slain lying in the grave,
whom you no longer remember,”
Psalm 88:4-5 English Standard Version (ESV)

I’m angry and numb, crying in the night. Why did this happen? How could I not see it coming? My friends said, “if you need anything, let me know,” but who is there when I need them at two o’clock in the morning? Who is there when I ask “why?” for the hundredth time?

I have nowhere to go for help.

“God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.”
Psalm 46:1 New International Version (NIV)

Stripped of my own resourcefulness, I cry out to God. Why, WHY?

He gave me the gift of sleep. Hung over from the shock, I woke up, poured the coffee and took a sip. Nothing has changed, but there’s a faint feeling, an indescribable sense of peace. Maybe it was the sleep. Maybe it’s the coffee. Maybe it’s something more?

“(The Lord) says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:8-10 NIV

I am not alone.

You are not alone. God has promised that he forever “loves you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3). He knows your life (Psalm 139:16). He has a plan and a future for you (Jeremiah 29:11). Through it all, he will comfort you with his grace and love. Receive it, it’s a gift. It’s peace.

Abba Father, thank you for carrying my load when I cannot. Thank you for giving me the peace of knowing that your plan and your timing are perfect, even when my heart is raw with hurt. Help me learn to rely on you in all circumstances. Amen.

Copyright Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado