By Katy Mariotti

Which Me Am I?

You can listen to today’s devotion by clicking on this SoundCloud link.

“O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me. If I say ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”
Psalm 139:1-14 English Standard Version

Singing is a huge part of my life. I mean, really huge. And yet a couple weeks ago I felt really down on myself, like I was a terrible singer and I would never get any better. My husband and I call this the “confidence wave”… a wave we ride continuously, thinking we’re good at something and then feeling like we’re terrible at it. I feel the wave in so many areas of my life, not just singing. I’m a good mom; no I’m a bad mom. I’m a confident person; nope, I’m super awkward. I’m smart; actually no, I miss obvious things.

Sometimes, like this tree turning red in my parents’ front yard, I feel unsure about which me I really am- am I a red tree or a green tree? Or am I a winter tree with no leaves at all?

I included a large chunk of Psalm 139 because it’s so beautiful and such a great reminder. God knows us inside and out. He made us and He loves us. And most importantly, He “hems us in, behind and before, and lays His hands on us.” The psalmist said it best: such knowledge is too wonderful for me! Who am I? I am a created and loved child of God, in all the waves I experience!

Copyright Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado