By Katy Mariotti

Goodness and Mercy

You can listen to today’s devotion by clicking on this SoundCloud link.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

    He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.

     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.

Psalm 23, English Standard Version

As a person who suffers from anxiety, when I am at my worst my mind is plagued with what-ifs. What if we get in a car accident? What if I lose a loved one? What if something happens to my children? What if someone’s feelings get hurt? The what-ifs can be big or small, but when they hit, they hit hard. I feel almost paralyzed by the fear of what I can’t control.

I recently had the honor of singing at a funeral. While funerals are sad, it was also a joy to see pictures from the man’s 90+ years of life, and to hear about his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. He had chosen the 23rd Psalm to be read, and while I’ve heard it hundreds of times, a new portion of the psalm struck me. “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Yes, as a person with anxiety, it’s important to remember that God is always with me even when I’m walking through those valleys of darkness. But at this funeral, I thought about this man’s life, filled with goodness and mercy, and about all the saints who have gone before, whose lives were filled the same way. To me it was encouraging and helped me to remember that there is a different set of “what ifs” that I forget about. What if I live a beautiful life?  What if even the difficult things turn out okay? What if my life is filled with goodness and mercy? Since I live near the mountains and see this beautiful view from my front door every day, I can remember that those dark valleys exist because there are high mountains around them.

Most importantly, it helps to remember the last part, the part that isn’t a “what if” but instead something we can always count on: “and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever!”

Copyright Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado