“Giving up my time…”

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“My times are in your hands…”
Psalm 31:15a

I have a confession to make.  I like to have my own time.  Time that I don’t share with anyone.  Time that is just mine.

I might spend that time doing something I like; like playing solitaire, or reading, or dreaming.  I want my time, my way.

You see, I don’t have a lot of problem with giving God my treasure and my talents.  I just don’t want to give Him my time.  He might ask me to do something with my time that I don’t like, like listening to someone when I’m tired, or asking someone forgiveness when I don’t really want to ask, or hearing someone tell me something about myself that I don’t like.  No, I want my time, my way.

I also don’t like being reminded that God is the one who made my time, gave me my time, and can take away my time any time He wants to.  I want to be the rich fool who pretends that I have my time to do with what I want.  Instead of the reality that the time I have is a gift from God and He expects me to give it to Him for His use, not mine.

Ouch, that really hurts.  Can’t I have some time just for myself?  Just for my own private use where God can’t see it?

And I know the answer.  My Lord Jesus is standing at the door of my heart, knocking kindly but persistently.  “Steve, give it up.  You know you can trust me with your time.  I love you and have a great plan for your life.  Just let it go.”

How can I tell him “no?”  He gave up everything for me.  He, at the proper time, gave up His own life for me.  Hours in Gethsemane and on the cross, He gave for me.

I am afraid to let go of the control.  Will He really use my time well?  Can I trust Him?

And suddenly, I let go.  With a gasp, I release my coveted time.  And I see that He holds my times in His hands, His nail scarred hands, His worn Shepherd hands.  I am in Your hands, O Lord, my times are in Your hands, Lord Jesus.

Lord, forgive me for holding on to my time as if it were not a gift from You.  I do trust You, Jesus. Amen.

Picture and Text Copyright Steve Nickodemus