Staying Present to the Present.

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Seasonal depression is real for me. Warmth and all things green and growing give me energy. Fall, once my favorite season, has become a battle as I fight for joy and anticipate the loss of green . The ebb and flow of the remaining warm days frozen over by cold snaps jostles my spirit and it’s work to keep my mood from matching the weather.

Driving over a ridge today, a patchwork quilt of autumn trees met my eyes. It spread over a portion of Colorado Springs warming the view with rich color. Delight would have bubbled up over the sight of it if grief had not pressed it back down.

“In a week or two, these leaves will be gone and the trees will be bare.”, were the joy-squelching words that sighed from my lips.

But a moment after I spoke those words of premature mourning, the Father spoke into my thoughts . . .

“The leaves haven’t left yet. And look how brilliantly I’ve clothed the trees.”

The invitation was clear: Be present to the beauty that is. There’s enough to mourn without mourning what isn’t lost.

Have you experienced premature mourning? Do you find yourself bracing for something that hasn’t happened yet or may not happen at all? Will you accept God’s invitation with me to come back to the present with Him and enjoy the beauty He is offering right now?

Jesus, take the sorrow of my tomorrows. Open my eyes, my ears, and my heart to Your gifts in this moment. Give me grace to be present to the present. Amen.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34 

“. . . Your love is ever before me and I walk continually in Your Truth.”
Psalm 26:3 New International Version

Copyright photo and text Jen Brukiewa