By: Elizabeth Haarberg

… And Forgiveness

You can listen today’s devotion by clicking this SoundCloud link.

I’ve had many conversations with people about their hesitation to forgive others because they don’t want to repair and continue in the relationship. Forgiveness is separate from moving forward in the relationship, but a relationship does depend on forgiveness. We’re called to forgive but not commanded to continue in a relationship.

“If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:3-4 English Standard Version

Jesus talks about forgiving, but he does not give instructions about repairing the relationship; they are two separate things. Forgiveness is for the person who has been trespassed against, to clean the heart, but the relationship is a separate conversation.

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,” Luke 6:27 English Standard Version

This verse says to love your enemies, but there is still no instruction to have a relationship.

I find that many people don’t forgive because they think they need to then have a relationship and they don’t want to, so they hold onto bitterness, resentment or hate. Instead, forgiveness is to release the body, soul and mind and move toward peace, not necessarily a relationship.

Jesus modeled forgiveness with the Sadducees and Pharisees, as well as others, when he was on earth. He forgave them for rejecting him, but he did not have a relationship with them. Forgiveness cleansed him and allowed him to love them, but he did not force a relationship with people who weren’t interested. Instead, he put his energy into relationships with people who pursued him and were interested in learning more about him and God’s kingdom.

Pay attention to the people in your life that you are holding a grudge against or that have mistreated you, forgive them and discern if a relationship is what is next, not because you forgave them but because that is what you and God desire.

Copyright Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado