by Jordyn van Gaalen
Press On Toward the Goal
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“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:12-14 New International Version
I really struggle with forgetting the past. I remember detailed stories from throughout my life, age three to seven and middle school through college. I’ll see a sign, a food wrapper, or hear a song, and I can recount all these happenings in vivid detail. Along with all these stories I carry all the emotions attached.
This is a difficult trait when it comes to negative or hurtful memories.
I hold onto these flashes, and I can still feel the weight of the emotions. The bitterness, the hurt, the fear, the insecurities, they all come flooding back.
Some of this holding on to the past is a need for control. I want a way to control my resentment. I want a way at “revenge.” And I do so by biting down on forgiveness. Since I can’t change my reactions in the past, this is my way of gaining back a false sense of power.
How wrong and sinful I know that all is. It is the opposite of what God wants and everything He speaks out against in His Word.
The passage in Philippians says to forget what is behind. I ought to shake the dust and keep walking forward, eyes to the finish line.
I saw a race once where the runner in the lead looked back over his shoulder to see his competitors. It was a sprint, a race where every second can make or break the outcome. I remember distinctly thinking how wrong it looked, for him to be approaching that white line, here at the final stretch, yet turning back. The other thing I remember about that race is the fact that he lost. The runner he had looked back at, passed him and beat him in the final feet.
The distractions of my past only take my focus away from God and what He has planned for me. Holding onto the bitterness and the need for control and that empty power only sends me into a dark and barren place. Instead of dwelling on the circumstances I can’t change, God tells me to focus my eyes ahead to where I’m going. And where we are going is a prize far beyond this earth. The prize, the goal, the destination is eternal life with our Savior Jesus Christ.
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)
Copyright Holy Cross Lutheran Church, Colorado Springs, Colorado
What a wonderful devotion that hits a home run! Thank you! May God continue to bless your writings!
Your post is just what I needed! I struggle with my past and I realize that Jesus needs me to move forward in a positive, happy direction in my life. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and insightfulness; it is very much appreciated. God Bless you and keep you.
Wow! This is exactly what happen to me too; I remember past hurts in vivid detail too. I never paused to think that it might be me trying to get control. Thank you for being so open & honest & allowing God to force this truth on me!